oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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