these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
