Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
