he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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