I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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