Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
