i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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