im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
