what day is it and did you see me today?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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