Acid is not a monday night drug
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
