Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize