So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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