There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
