I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
