took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
