In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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