the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
