I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i barfeds in our rink
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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