whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
