my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
