My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
