We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
