Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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