I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
