some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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