..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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