My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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