So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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