I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
