god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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