No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
