i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
