So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
