lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
