I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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