I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
