I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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