i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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