i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
