9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
