why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
