So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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