I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
