hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize