Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I smell like Dick and happiness
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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