If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
