dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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