Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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