I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I didn't shave. On purpose
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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