Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
