May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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