the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
