I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
