I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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