Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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