I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
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The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
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You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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