She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize