I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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