I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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