He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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