All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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