almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
