dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
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Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
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anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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