careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize